Whirlwind Calm

Last Sunday, I traveled to NY for long week of work. My days began early and ended late and there was a lot of sitting involved. A tough recipe for this active body to deal with, but…that’s the way it goes….

My work, in general, is dominated by males and by nature, is a very “aggressive” or “masculine” occupation. What do i mean by this: the occupation is very outward, high energy, with much focus on goals, accomplishments, etc…It’s nature is Outward. It’s the Yang (yin/yang) I enjoy my work and am pretty damn passionate about it. If you hear me talk about it, you will probably get that about me….at any time, it can be complicated, every changing, dynamic, challenging, maddening, enthralling, and very gratifying. It is not simple, easy, comfortable or boring. Thank Goodness!

My whole week was spent planning, strategizing, evaluating, reviewing, etc…all about the future and creating what I want and creating a plan to execute. And I loved it. It was mentally tiring and physically draining, but it was full of valuable nuggets for me to implement. It was a week long cram session.

Friday, I flew home to SF from NY and if you travel that route, you know it is a looong flight. Around 6 hours. + the travel to the airport in the morning and the travel home from SFO. Add on another 8.5 hours of sitting. ARRGGHHHH!!!!!! After a week of lots of sitting and little time for exercise. ARRRGGHHHH…..My body was dying for movement.

So, I arrive home about 9pm on Friday night and by 9am on Saturday morning, I was at a DAY LONG MEDITATION RETREAT CENTER. This was already planned into my schedule and when I realized it was the day after my trip to NY, it’s not like I was too excited for it since it involved more sitting!!

However….as the Gods would have it, it ended up being timed PERFECTLY. As I arrived at the beautiful center and settled in for our 1st of many meditations, I was quite thankful for this day and this opportunity. And I was enormously struck by the complete and utter contrast to the environment I just left….

This day was going to be 8 hours of SILENT MEDITATION. Surrounded in an environment that was gorgeous, restorative and nurturing. This was the feminine, the YIN, the INNER.

I was struck by these 2 opposite places and events and how I involve myself in both. I am passionate about my work and I am passionate about caring for my soul, my spirit. The 2 are not dis-connected. I weave them together. I can hold both.

“Sit. Feast on your life” – Derek Walcott

For today…everyday

“There is nothing wrong with loving the crap out of everything. Negative people find their walls. So never apologize for your enthusiasm. Never. Never. Never. “

-Ryan Adams

A Slooooo Start

“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know”

So. 2013 has not started exactly the way I had hoped…on December 26th, I got sick with the flu. It lasted for about 2 weeks and since then, I have been experiencing much achiness and fatigue. I feel like the damn thing just flattened me. And it did. I haven’t missed any work, but left early many days. My weekends, up until this current weekend, have basically been spent on the couch/bed. Not feeling the physical energy to do much for such a long time now has been quite the challenge.

I love being active. Of course, I love to run. But, I also love just having the energy to go about my day with some zest! During the past month, i have felt depressed, angry, agitated, cranky, irritable. I have done my best every day to be patient with my body as it clearly has a course of its own to run. I went to the doctor, had some blood work done just to be thorough….all came back normal. More patience with just what is….

I have not experienced this kind of sickness since about late 1990′s, so it’s been even the more challenging. I have been running about 3-5 days a week for about 15 years, so to have such a lengthly delay has been bubble bursting in so many ways. Some people will understand it and others won’t. And, that’s ok. Running makes me feel alive in a way that nothing else does. If you have read my blog for a while, you probably get it.

And…I’m trying to see the positives in all this. My flaw has been I do not give myself enough time to rest after big races and I had 2 big races last year. I know I am guilty of not enough rest. And part of me sees this delay as learning a lesson in this regard. I’m absorbing the lesson. Sometimes, after a big race, I’m so excited i just can’t wait to keep going for the next thing. But, there’s another lesson here too: to truly embrace my current self-accomplishment. Too often these past few years, I have not allowed myself to just “enjoy the after…” And, I think that is part of the nature of the mentality of runners…to keep re-setting their goals. Believe me, I am all for goal-setting, but i am getting the other lessons here too.

So, where am I now? Well, after a full month of little to no physical exercise. I am basically starting from zero. For example, I ran for 10 minutes on Friday and walked for 5 minutes.

Yesterday, I ran 2 miles and walked 5 minutes.

Hard to understand I ran a marathon in October. I could not run 5 miles right now. And….that is ok. I will get back. Smartly.

I remain positive and upbeat and ever determined.

Onward.

Expectations (Delusions of Grandeur)

This was what was written on the back of the New Balance T-Shirt I bought at my 1st ever marathon expo in Chicago, 2000. “The Marathon. A chance to be your own Hero”

Don’t we all suffer from delusions at one time or another? Don’t we all, at some point, become so wrapped up in excitement that we think we can be X or Y or Z? Yes, I think it is quite common….this affliction called Delusions of Grandeur. This affliction definitely has its drawbacks as I will soon discuss, but I think it has positive sides too. I don’t want to be Abby or Chrissie or Serena or Lolo. And I sure as heck don’t wanna be Lance. I just wanna be the best I can be. The best possible Angie. The best Angelina Funtanilla I can be at a given time. And, so….I wanna push. And when I have an outcome that surpasses my goals like I had a the SF Half Marathon a few weeks ago, I become extra motivated, extra inspired…and I wanna keep it up. I wanna keep going. I can’t help it. It’s my nature.
So. I knew the SF WOMEN’S NIKE MARATHON was coming up and wished I had signed up cuz it is already sold out. Sold out as soon as registration opened back in early March, I believe. I was thinking, “oh..that would be fun to run again. (I ran the race a few years ago and had a great time) wouldn’t it be great if I could set a PR or even get real close to 4 hours??” That was the thought in my head. Well, about a month ago, I went into a local running store and bought some new Nike shoes and because I did, I gained a entry to a lottery for a slot in the race. A week ago I found out I had won! I was super excited but then worried I wouldn’t have enough time to train properly. I thought the race was in Novemeber. I picked up my entry “ticket”, which was not free, by the way. I still had to register and pay, but at least I had a spot. I go look online and see that the race is…

Well, what happened? What happened was that as I was writing all the above, I had to go look at the actual date of the race, which is OCT 14th. As I went to the website, the first thing I see in big bold letters is 8 weeks to go. And, I just stopped writing the above part and thought, “8 weeks! I can run! I can do this….I just have to alter my expectations. I’m not going to go for a PR. Not possible. I will simply train as smartly as I can, and see how it goes. No pressure. Let go of expectations. I just wanna run this one!

I want to PR in the marathon and I also want to run under 4 hours. Those goals will have to wait until 2013 and I am ok with that…

I ran this race, Nike Women’s Marathon, back in 2009. It remains one of my favorite experiences. The Expo, the crowd, the course (San Fran), are all fantastic. Nike does a phenomemal job and I am looking forward to toeing the line, once again, for my 8th marathon!

ONWARD!

Week 10 Run Report

Week 10. Not a whole lot of miles, but 3 out of 4 runs were good quality. Let’s focus on those. Wednesday, after work, I ran 4.23 miles at 8:59 pace. Very happy to get in under the 9:00 min mark. I didn’t even know my pace per mile until calculating distance afterwards. (for the record, i do not have my own Garmin anymore. I had the Garmin 110 and not 1, but 2 of them crapped out on me, so I’m not going to buy another Garmin watch. Although, sometimes I am able to use my friends’ Garmin and it seems to be ok….for now!)

Saturday, I ran 4 miles at 8:45 pace. WHOA! VERY HAPPY!! After the first mile, i just found another gear and was able to sustain it. I probably could have sustained for 1 more mile, but not much more than that…for now! That’s why we practice, right?? RIGHT!

Sunday rolled around and I waited until mid afternoon to head out on the roads. I usually go out within a couple hours of waking up, but I decided to enjoy some breakfast and morning time first. It had been lightly raining in Petaluma, but by the time I left, all was clear.
I altered my usual course a little bit which took me more into the “countryside” and involved more hills. Not steep, but rolling, and a good amount of them to keep my heart pumping strong. Coming into the last 1-1.5 miles, I had a clear choice to either go more flat the rest of the way or keep going with the hilly areas. I chose the hilly areas. That’s how I know I’m a runner. That’s how I know I am gonna reach the goals I set for myself.
Invigorated. Strong. Steadfast.
Sunday ended with 7 miles at 9:33 pace. I’m good with that.

Friday nite played a little tennis and totally getting into it. Can’t wait to play more!

I love those “little moments” when you “cross over”. When you chose the more difficult over the easy. When you go for uncomfortable-ness over comfort. Comfort, for me, is when I am home, snuggled on the couch or in bed. It doesn’t belong on my running route. Comfortable, for me, is sitting in a nice, comfy, oversized chair watching a movie while eating some popcorn. This, too, does not belong on my running route.
Does it always have to be difficult, tough, hard…NO, of course not. There are times to rest. To go slow. To take it easy. To taper for a race.

This is not that time. This is building mode. Onward

Week 10: Total running miles: 18

“If you don’t feel it, you will never get it.” -Goethe

for today, everyday

Have the vision to dream.
Have the courage to recover from adversity and
the determination never to be shifted from your goals.

-Kieren Perkins

one of the best quotes!

You don’t win once in a while, you don’t do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time. Winning is habit. -Vince Lombardi

love this…

“I think there is too much emphasis placed on the distinction between the people in the front and the people in the back. I happen to feel that the sensations are exactly the same for all of us.” – Kenny Moore, marathoner & writer

spontaneous adjustments

“Each of us is faced with the same challenge; to put on our shorts and shoes and get out the door” – D.E.

Earlier in the week, a co-worker mentioned he had an extra 10k race entry if I wanted it for today, Saturday. I accepted. I got up this morning, with full intentions on running the 10k race called The Possum Trot.

Morning began with a BAD cup of coffee. Yesterday, I shopped at Dekalb Farmers Market. That is THE place for cheap, healthy, organic food. It is NOT the place to buy coffee beans. I learned the hard way.    (In 3 weeks, I will travel to LA and get some damn PEETS, THANK GOODNESS)

So, i dumped out the coffee and had a little green tea along with my Clif Bar. Then, i looked at the clock & it was 6:50am. YIKES. Race start was at 7:30am and I had at least a 20 min drive.

Well, off I went. Drove up to Roswell in search of race location. I found the area but then had to get re-routed because some roads were blocked off. By the time I found the parking lot, it was already a few minutes past 7:30am and I still couldn’t even see the starting line or anything.

So…i decided to just leave and go run somewhere else. My friend was also not running the race so I was not leaving him in the lurch or anything.

While driving back into Atlanta, I remembered that some people would be out running the traditional “Peachtree Prep Run” and so I figured I would join in somewhere along Peachtree. In case you DON’T KNOW, The PEACHTREE ROAD RACE is held annually on 4th of July in Atlanta. It is the largest 10k in the United States. 55,000 people. Running on July 4th in the Atlanta heat & humidity. The prep run is done a couple of saturdays in succession prior to race day. It’s pretty cool to go out and see so many people running along Peachtree as they gear up for the race.

I parked about 1.5 miles into the race route and started running. It was 80 degrees & 80 percent humidity by this time, 8:00am. Still, I was happy to find some people out there even if I said no words to anyone. I do most runs solo, by choice, but it’s always good to mix it up a bit. I ran along the course for 2.5 miles, incorporating the biggest hill leading up to Piedmont Hospital & then turned around and went back…this way, i would get the longer hill back to where my car was parked. I ended up only running 4.5 miles but since it was this particular route, i was fine with the outcome. It was brutal out there, but i still managed less than 10 min mile pace even with the hills. I added another mile walking around a neighborhood I had never encountered before.

One of the coolest things about the Peachtree Road Race that I was reminded of today is that ANYONE & EVERYONE participates; elite runners, casual runners, people who are overweight or obese are out there walking/running, military folks dressed in all their gear & boots, wheelchair racers, children, people who have never run before, people who run everyday…it’s a race for everyone…running does not discriminate.

Whoever you are, I support you to get your sneaks on and get those feet movin’. Get that blood pumpin’. This is life, baby! THIS IS LIFE!!

Show up with all you have, and great things will happen. – Ralph Marston

With what level of challenge are you willing to live? That will determine the level of accomplishment you reach. – Ralph Marston