blessings in disguise ?

So, if you have been following, you know how I have been feeling. No kidding, i really felt like I was done with the race training that Sunday Sept 20th. I was fed up, bummed out, pissed off, and somewhat confused. I tried to just let it all go for the rest of the day (not so easy when there are not many distractions). I also tried not to get too down on myself and not try to figure out the answers. Reading your posts DID help, so THANK YOU, fellow readers.

I just kinda let go for last Monday and figured I would see how Tuesday went. Tuesday came and I felt like running. So, I did. And had a good time. A good 5 miles with no expectations. Wednesday came and it was a repeat; another good 5 miles. Just kinda enjoyed it. Thursday swung around and i just did a little 3.1 on treadmill. By this time, I knew I would try again for a longer run on weekend so I didn’t want to push too hard.

All week long, I was in much better spirits. There were a couple of weeks there where it seemed like all I was hearing about was DEATH or those NEAR DEATH. Nobody directly in my life, but it still has an effect on me. And it was a bunch of news all together. For me, I am not one of those people who need to hear about death to start living or to do all those things you don’t do or say until someone dies. I really do try to live like that all the time. The losses I experienced in my early years taught me that…So, hearing about death now doesn’t strike me in such ways. I feel most struck by it in just the finality of it all. The true loss of life. The loss of breath. The loss of smiles. It becomes so heavy, ya know. And so, all that heaviness was weighing on me and i think some of my “disaster” run that Sunday was in part due to that heaviness.

And, nothing like a good ‘ole birthday to bring some levity. I turned a whopping 39 years last Friday! Who-Hoo! And you know, I feel damn good about those years… they have been characterized by many things both extremely heavy and wonderfully light and I am just glad to still be here. Glad to still have my fingers and toes. Glad to still have my sight, my hearing, my vision. Glad to still have a strong, beating heart.

The weekend came and I ran a short 5 on Saturday. Nothing too noteworthy there. Sunday was the big day. I went to the comet and started at zero mile marker and headed west. The temperature was perfect. Low-mid 60’s with a small breeze. The remnants of some earlier rain had left the trail wet in some spots, peppered with a few fallen leaves. The smells were fresh and delicious. I had to stop by iPOD every now and again just to be with it all…to hear the organic sounds around me. I was very surprised at how i felt, physically. It’s almost as if i was expecting my body to quit or really hurt with each passing mile. But, it really didn’t. I was pretty focused and felt strong. Sometimes my back will feel tired or my quads will feel heavy, but not this time. It really wasn’t until mile 15 when my hip flexors started to hurt some. I actually think i could have pushed for more miles, but during the final mile, i got a terrible know in my stomach. I think it was all related to my intake of gels. Sometimes, i think it might be a too much sugar thing. i am not sure, but it goes away pretty quickly. Nonetheless, still finished 16.25 and felt great. So relieved. So much happier.

I am glad. I am thankful. To be here for another day. To have had a better run. To be able to open my mouth and taste life. TASTE LIFE peeps. TASTE LIFE.

September 27: 16.25 miles – Silver Comet

September 26: 5 miles – outside

September 24: 3.1 miles – treadmill

September 23: 5 miles – outside

September 22: 5 miles – outside

clawing back

thanks for the “tough love” all! had a much better week, capped off with 16.25 mile run today. full details later. Will probably be the longest I do before the race on Oct 18th. Last 10 miles will be tough, but I have better confidence now. Thanks again!!

?

i was supposed to run long today. what actually happened was i ran about 2.5 miles and stopped. then, i walked 2.5 miles back to my car. And I REALLY don’t like walking.

Why did I stop? The best answer I can give is that I just didn’t want to keep going. I think I might be burnt out. This comes at a pretty ridiculous time seeing that the race is exactly one month from today. My longest run during this training has only been 14 miles.

Not sure what all this means or what i am going to do.

C’MON

IF YOU RAN WITHOUT SACRIFICE, CONGRATULATIONS. YOU JUST JOGGED. -from Pearl Izumi Ad

gaining ground

the face of a fighter

SF Giants are on a good roll, winning 3 games in a row against division rivals, LA and Colorado. They are fighting for their lives in the NL Wild Card Race. Zito was awesome again last night. His ERA vs. Colorado is some ridiculous low number. Way to go fellas! Keep it rolling. Keep fighting!

hi!

Heavily involved in watching all the US Open tennis this week. Some great matches, huh! Local Kid, MELANIE OUDIN! She was on a fantastic roll and certainly brought more excitement to US Womens Tennis. Congrats to you kid, and HEY, NICE SHOES!

Saturday night rolled around an stayed up late watching the Serena vs Kim Clijsters match. Was very impressed with Clijsters! She played solid and I was rooting for her. Even before the Serena incident, i was thinking; “wow, she seems really pissed off out there” – Slamming her racquet, constantly talking to herself…i had never seen her like that before. Only comments i have on her behavior that ended the match is this: completely unprofessional and very disappointing. Beyond that, it really robbed the fans both in the stands and on tv a chance to see the match end organically, especially those waiting in all the rain delays. And most of all, it robbed Clijsters of the moment. She was playing fantastic and deserved a better end to the match. As I write this, Womens final is on ESPN2 (which i think is LAME) and I am rooting for Kim.

Watched some of the Federer/Djokovic match. Was flipping channels between that and the SF/LA Dodgers game. Thankfully SF won! I did happen to catch some great points in the tennis match, especially this one:

Phenomenal in-between-the-legs winner! Love Roger!!

OK. Now about the running. An OK week. Not great, but still getting some miles in. Highlight was Saturday long run. I switched it up from Sunday just for a change and to see if i would notice any difference. I found myself a little more excited to go out there, but it was still painful and long. 14 miles. was more humid than we have had lately. Went to silver comet trail. jeff met me at 4.2 mile marker and we ran together from there. Was good to have him there again after 2 weeks of him being gone on weekends. Thanks, Jeffro. I am still not where i need or want to be in terms of long run mileage or weekly mileage in preparation for this marathon. Talked a little to jeff about it. it’s just tough to get the miles in ya know. tough time wise and energy wise. I really need to go longer in the weekday runs if i expect more on the weekend. We’ll see what this week brings. Hope it is all good.

here’s a pic after the 14 miler on Saturday.

Sept 13: 5.1 miles – outside

Sept 12: 14 miles – outside, Silver Comet Trail

Sept 9: 5.0 miles – outside

Sept 8: 3.7 miles – outside

Week Total: 27.2

Have a great week everyone! Stay strong, Stay focused. Keep Dreaming!

the latest

Sept 6: AM 11.35 miles; outside – PM 3.25 miles, treadmill

Sept 5: 7 miles, outside

Sept 3: 5 miles, outside

Sept 2: 3 miles, treadmill

Sept 1: 3.3 miles, outside

Total: 32.90 miles

movin’ on up

One of the many things I love about Federer is that I’m pretty sure he will never be accused of doping or steriods or choking a coach or dog fighting, etc…

A fucking true class act and an amzing athlete.

season’s changin’

yesterday’s weather was near perfect. don’t know the exact temperature, but it was delicious. my whole body could just feel fall is near. AHH….my favorite time of year.

ran a wonderful 5 miles w/ hills and all was good.

one of my favorite quotes: “Every morning in Africa a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must move faster than the lion or it will not survive. Every morning a lion wakes up and it knows it must move faster than the slowest gazelle or it will starve. It doesn’t matter if you are the lion or the gazelle, when the sun comes up, you better be moving.” Maurice Greene (attributed to Roger Bannister shortly after running the first sub-4 mile)

take me out to the ballgame

A good week of training last week. Cooler temps helped.

Buddy Jeff and I went to Atlanta Braves game vs. San Diego last Thursday. I had FREE tix. Awesome seats, 6 rows up from HOME PLATE. (would have been better if they were playing SF GIANTS, but hey, I’ll take it!) We also sat in 755 club and enjoyed some good pizza and watched the rain come down. Was actually very pretty watching the t-storm fall on the green infield and throughout the near empty stadium. Game was only delayed 30 minutes. Sitting so close was amazing. Being able to see the speed of the pitches, watching the players and all their idiosyncrasies (david eckstein) was VERY COOL. When sitting that close, I really got into watching some of the strategy involved. You don’t really see all the hand signals, player movements, etc when you are far away or on TV. Pretty Neat. Another highlight of the game was watching the group of 4 seated in front of us; mom, dad, grandpa, grandma, and newborn baby; she was probably not more than 1 month old. let me tell you, Grandpa DID NOT LET THAT KID OUT OF HIS ARMS! It was very tender and touching to watch this big older man, in the latter stages of his life, holding onto and absolutely adoring this new life! It reminded me that older people really do look different than anyone else when they are watching or holding a new baby. Perhaps that is partly because they are on such opposite sides of life and in that little being they are not only able to reflect on their own life, but also marvel at what is in store for the little one. Maybe they are amazed that they were once THAT TINY, THAT YOUNG. There was absolute joy on grandpa’s face and I wish I would have captured it on film…there was a love affair happening of the best kind. The little girl could not have been more delicate, more beautiful. Caught her smiling a coupla of times and was hooked. All in all a great evening, relaxed and had fun with jeff.

Aug 30: am run: 13 miles outside, many HILLS, pm run: 2.5 miles treadmill

Aug 29: 5.10 miles, outside

Aug 27: 3.25 miles, treadmill

Aug 26: 3.75 miles, outside

Aug 25: 4 miles, outside

Weekly Total = 31.60