i don’t need dirt to be a gardner

“So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers”

I read this in a piece somewhere a long time ago and it always stuck with me. If you know me, you know I am no gardner. I have no interest in the field, so to speak, and truth be told, when I ever do get flowers, they die from lack of needed attention. I LOVE flowers, I’m just not very good at tending to them.

OK..so even though I don’t dig around in the dirt I am very much my own kind of planter. I’ve been planting particular seeds now for about 3-4 years and today was one of those days where I could see the growth of those seeds. It struck me when I wasn’t looking; I was completely absorbed in what I had been doing, and yet the absorption was exactly how I was able to see the growth. I was teaching a new investment class to a group of seniors. I was so absorbed that I forgot my SELF; forgot about how I looked or what I would say or worried I would leave something out or misspeak…I was just doing. At one point, as I was writing on the dry erase board and feeling excited about the class and topic/discussion, I said, “AHH, I LOVE talking about this stuff!”

As I went along, it dawned on me just how well i knew my subject matter and how much more articulate I was than even 1 year ago, not to mention 3 years ago. I also noticed how comfortable I felt…like I belonged. If there is one main thing I truly struggle with, its that…feeling a sense of belonging. In my profession, I do now feel like I belong. I feel legitimate. I am smart and educated through “books” and also thru life on the “street”. Believe me, it has taken a loooong time to feel like I belonged in this profession and I feel like I have definitely earned it.

After class was over, several people thanked me and a few asked “Will you be here next week? Can we talk more next week?”  One gentleman in the class is someone I know from previous encounters. He stayed after everyone else had left, gave me a big hug and smile and said how he was happy to see me again and that he enjoyed the class. I was filled with joy; a smile on my face and a hop in my step as I made my way thru the parking lot to my vehicle.

It was quite a cool morning.

p.s. i’m still running. gonna wait til i have a race in mind to talk more about that….