Archive for the Uncategorized Category

lately

Posted in random, Uncategorized with tags , , on November 9, 2011 by afuntanilla

Been forced to do quite a bit of thinking and evaluating lately about ATTACHMENT and AUTONOMY and CONTROL. Well…i feel like these thoughts have been all consuming for a while, but even more intensely the last 3 weeks or so.

ATTACHMENT (defined): a feeling that binds one to a person, thing, cause, ideal or the like.

Why do we get so attached to things or ideas or causes? Why does it feel so torturous when the “string” is cut, so to speak? Sure, it’s super easy to just keep thinking, “just let go, just let go”, but when you feel like the thing or ideal is as much a part of you as your arm or leg, it’s hard to “let go.”
When the “string is cut”, it DOES feel like the rug has been pulled out from underneath and of course, all hell breaks loose inside. No one likes that feeling. Of course, Pema Chodron, the great buddhist nun author has a field day with the whole rug thing:
“Everything is changing all the time and we keep wanting to pin it down. to fix it. So whenever you come up with a solid conclusion, let the rug be pulled out. You can pull out your own rug and you can also let life pull it out for you. Having the rug pulled out from under you is a big opportunity to change your DNA. One way to pull out your own rug is by letting go, lightening up, being more gentle and not making such a big deal.”

Whew. Gosh, why does it sound so easy?

And then there’s this whole thing about Autonomy!
Autonomy (defined): Independence or Freedom

Well, that’s been me in a nutshell. If you ask anyone in my life to describe me, INDEPENDENT, is most likely a word that would come up. I didn’t just get that way last year or 5 years ago. I have been that way my ENTIRE life. First by circumstances and then buy choice.

If you see a wild and free animal out and about doing their thing and then all of a sudden, they become captured and are forced to live in a cage, you can probably guess that said animal is not happy. Might become angry, might “fight” against and with their captors. And then who knows, all hell might break loose. Makes perfect sense. For the first time, I finally get what all the hoopla is about regarding endangered species. I do. I understand. More than I want to.

And then there is this thing about CONTROL! So, I guess I have discovered how much of a control freak I can be. Let me just say I have NEVER EVER described myself as such in the past. But, the events of the past month or so have shined the light so ever brightly on this oh-so-endearing characteristic that I was nearly blinded. In fact, I may have been blinded for a few hours due to the stinging “headlight” in my face. As I think about autonomy and control, i can’t help but wonder if the two go hand in hand. Are independent people more controlling than others? Hmmm…

So, Controlling+Autonomy+Attachment is what I am wrestling with. The bight lights, the full length mirror are in my face, following me around. I need to be the humble student, but it’s not easy.

You know…I’ve actually prided myself all along on being very good with attachment stuff…HA. Who knew that my work was not attachment to a person but to a thing, a process, an ideal…

(THUMP) Did you hear that? That was my ass hitting the ground as the rug just got pulled out from under me.

today

Posted in Uncategorized on October 6, 2011 by afuntanilla

Can you see it? It’s there…just up ahead a bit. You know, that place…that place. No, that STEP. That step you want to get to is right there. You are on your way to reaching that step that will take you higher, that will invigorate your spirit once more, that will inject spiritual juice into your veins of life.

You’re a dreamer. I know. And to reach dreams, we must first reach steps. Each dream, every goal has steps that must be met and surpassed along the way. You are well on your way. Don’t look back. Forge ahead. There will be plenty of time to look back later. Keep shedding what is no longer needed and useful. Thank it with dignity and grace and then shed. Move on. Keep the load light and your heart open. Keep your arms loose and your eyes focused.

Feel your heart beating faster? It’s working hard for ya. Be good to it.

The crest is close…up around the bend. Rise up. Keep going.

Keep Soaring.

recollection

Posted in Uncategorized on August 24, 2011 by afuntanilla

My eyelids barely open. they keep fluttering between slightly opening and closing, i hear voices telling me things, then asking me to answer questions. i can barely comprehend. bright lights surround me. and wires, tubes, cords. what the hell are these things on my stomach? they look like bugs. dead ants or something all in a creepy pattern on my body. they aren’t moving. are they dead? where am i?

you are in the hospital. you are at children’s hospital. you’ve been in a car accident.

i’m assessing my body and taking it all in. slowly. the tubes up my nose, coming out of my left lung; in my arms; my legs suspended in the air in some weird contraption and whatever the heck is on my stomach.

some doctors come in and tell me they are going to do something to my left arm. next thing i know, they are drilling what looks to be a nail into my elbow. i feel nothing. i am so doped up. moments later, my left arm is also suspended in the air. three limbs now suspended in the air, in traction, they called in. my young little brain is spinning, trying to understand what has happened. how weird it is to be surrounded by strangers doing weird things to my body.

where is my family? here comes Father Mangini from St. Leanders Church. What is he doing here. That’s weird. Ah, here’s my brother, Joe. Where is mom? Oh, she is probably getting something for me at the gift shop.
Father Mangini and Joe came over to my bedside. On my left side. I asked, “where’s mom?”
Our priest said, “your mom died.”
“Oh no”, I said as I turned my head away to my right side.

celebration

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on August 8, 2011 by afuntanilla

Caught myself in one of life’s precious moments earlier today. I didn’t start my run until about 11:00am, which of course meant it was a wonderful sauna outside. 88 degrees, 65 percent humidity. I struggled thru 6 miles and just allowed myself to walk quite a bit after running the first 2. My head felt so hot, my heart was beating rapidly, and yet my pace was slooooow. Just a typical day of running in the south, eh? Ok…so…I ran thru the Celebration, Florida neighborhood where seriously everything looks so perfect….perfect grass, perfect sidewalks, everything so clean and crisp. A very quiet, cute community about 12 miles from Disney.
About 30 minutes into run, I was able to stop in a a building and soak my bandana in cold water and refill my water bottle. I wrapped the cold, wet bandana around my neck and proceeded with the run. Er…run..walk…run…walk…
Whole body was feeling some fatigue after yesterday’s run plus the 7 (fun) hours of walking around Magic Kingdom! Ok….so…I finished up the 6 miles and went straight to the pool to meet up with my pals who were exercising their option for pool time instead of run time. I rinsed off at the cold outdoor pool shower and then hopped in to join them. After probably 15 minutes, we saw some infamous Southern rain clouds coming in and made our move out of pool. They had brought their towels, of course, but since I had come from running, I did not. I decided to just go ahead and walk back to condo in the rain. What did it matter, I was all wet anyways? As I began walking, the drops and speed of rain became more intense and we were in full on thunderstorm. I was outside of the pool gate area and stopped and waited for my friends to see me. I did one of my “open arms” poses where I held my arms open as wide as I could and tilted my head back. The large, warm Florida drops washed over me, poured down over my head, over my glasses and all over my body! I felt like I didn’t have a care in the world. I kept walking back to condo and then started running barefoot, in the middle of the street with the rain falling all around. I was smiling big. This is life, baby! Tasting life…

my share

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on May 8, 2011 by afuntanilla

Gosh, was it really that long ago? Nearly 28 years. Yes, somedays, it truly seems that long ago and other days, as if it were yesterday. My memories, sometimes, so close I have difficulty breathing thru the choking grief. Other times, you are very far away – sometimes as if you were never there. And yet, you were. So many of your traits, both physical and not, have I inherited; your seriousness, sentimentality and a hope for goodness in all humans. Yes, those things are with me. A love of music and singing out loud no matter how good or not your voice is – yep, i got that too.

On occasions such as now, i cannot help but wonder how our relationship would have evolved – what would it be like today? If you were still alive, you would soon turn 68 years old. I wonder if you would have gotten healthy or continued down a sad path of self-destruction. Maybe you would have gone to therapy, turned all new-agey and led spiritual retreats. Or maybe your self-destruction would have caused us to drift and separate and become an old mother-daughter very difficult relationship.

We’ll never know. We were robbed. Or saved. Perhaps.

There were many times it was not easy to be your kid; you could be aloof, mean, hysterical, and rough. But. You were my mom. The one I went to when I hurt myself. The one I went to when I came home excited from events at school. The one to whom I said, “I love you, mom.”

I miss seeing your face and your eyes get all teary when i gave you some mushy hallmark card.

I miss being hugged.

I miss seeing your face light up, knowing I made your proud.

I miss knowing that I had you, mom.

And. So.

I thank you. For Giving Me Life.

For Giving Me Love.

For teaching me that we are all equal no matter what color or sex or if we look goofy or not goofy. Thank you for teaching me not to lie. Thank you for teaching me to stand up for what is right. For Justice. For those who need a voice.

Thank you for believing in me and for teaching me that I Could Be Anything and I Could Do Anything.

Your words did not fall on deaf ears nor did they go in one ear and out the other.

I heard you, Mom and I thank you.

With all my heart, I love you and hope you are resting in deep peace.

LA Story

Posted in motivation, photos, road, shoes, travel, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 26, 2010 by afuntanilla

Race morning began with a 5am wake up call. Ready to wake up, i rose and immediately went into the hotel lobby for the complimentary coffee. It was no Peets, but I was happy to have it. I returned to my room and changed into my running clothes and made sure i had everything esle I needed; garmin, iPOD, gels, bandana. Yep, that’s about it. Then, it was off to the drive from Beverly Hills into Santa Monica.

I parked in Santa Monica because that’s where the finish line was and there were shuttle buses there to take us to the starting line at Dodger Stadium. Personally, i thought this part was a pain, but oh well. So, we are on the bus at 6am and trying to get to the race start. Traffic to the stadium was a nightmare. Traffic all over. Everyone trying to get to Dodger Stadium. It was now 7am and i had serious thoughts that we’d be running from the bus to starting line because race start was suppossed to be 7:20am. That didn’t happen, thank goodness.

I got off the bus and had to go to bathroom. Of course, there were LOOOONG lines at port-a-potties so i improvised. I saw a row of trash dumpsters and me and a bunch of other women just took matters into our own hands and went behind the dumpters. Hey, it’s RACE DAY and anything goes!!!

Made my way into the starting area and was getting excited. Lots of folks all around, huddling together for this adventure. Lots of people of all ethnicities, sizes, shapes…loved seeing the diversity.

I guess the race organizers were behind schedule because we didn’t end up starting until almost 7:50am, not 7:20am. I was ancy. I wanted to get started.

Finally, the race begins!

The first mile was weird in that it was basically a full lap around Dodger Stadium. Then another 1/2 lap and we were out on the roads. There were some small hills throughout the course…a pretty good sized one about mile 5. Yikes. Where did that come from? The course went along different neighborhoods and not being from LA, i did not know these different spots. First section I recognized was Downtown, then Hollywood. I was struck by the good amount of spirited spectators along the course. Even though I had my iPOD on, I heard them, saw their signs and even gave a bunch of high 5’s along the way. I love seeing spectators in races. It makes it more fun and it helps stay motivated. So, thank you, dear LA spectators!! I was also struck by the MASSIVE amount of volunteers! There were water and Powerade stops at every mile and there were a ton of volunteers. Really appreciate them!!

I can usually sense from the get go how my body feels and even though I was ancy to start, ONCE i did, my body was telling me something different. My legs were just not feeling it. They felt tight, heavy, tired. At mile 6, i thought, “well, I’ve got 20 more to go…damn”. I knew i was in for a long day. Aerobically, I felt great. My legs were the issue.

Still…i kept on and was thinking about all those that did my “adopt-a-mile.” With each mile, I had a different person from my life in mind and it helped me stay focused and keep truckin’. It was fun to think of the different people as the miles passed because everyone means something different to me…i have a connection with each person and it’s all pretty damn cool.

By mile 13, i was at about 2:07 and though I was physically not feeling great, i was pleased with my time and figured if i can just keep it up, i can maybe have a personal record. If I finished under 4:20, i would have a marathon best. Since the 2nd half was more flat and downhill, i really thought i had a shot. Well…it wasn’t soon after that where I started to deteriorate.

Ouch. Legs were hurting. Quads. I knew I was in trouble when we had a short steep downhill section in West Hollywood and I COULD NOT go fast. Legs were like OUCH as i tried to zoom down the hill. They would have none of it. I think that was the point where I started to get disappointed. Obviously, that’s not how I wanted to feel. I wanted to feel strong and fast. But, I kept on. I never thought I wouldn’t finish. I just knew it was gonna continue to sting.

We ran our way through rest of W. Hollywood, Bevery Hills and into Westwood. Again, lots of spectators and it seemed like they were growing in size. very cool!

I knew there was one last hill somewhere between mile 20-21 and then it was downhill to the finish. Well, lemme tell you….I never FELT the downhill. It all seemed just flat. The MAP shows the downhill, people KEPT SAYING,” IT’S ALLL DOWNHILL FROM HERE.” Not to me and my aching legs.

On the plus side, my nutrition was good. I felt fine. I was taking some gels and clif bloks and drinking plelnty of water. Also, the weather was good. It was maybe 60 at the start and never got too warm. it was overecast and actually pretty cool as we headed into Santa Monica and the beach! The last 3 miles seemed to take forever. I was looking at my watch and seeing the time get further away from what I had hoped.

2 friends who live in Santa Monica were gonna try and see me at about mile 24. I looked for them but didn’t see them, unfortunately. On the last mile, I tried to kick it up a notch and go strong. I crossed the finish line of my 7th marathon in 4:32. I was more relived than happy.

As soon as we cross the finish line, we are greeted by a volunteer who places a medal around our neck. That DOES feel gratifying. A medal for the battle just “won”. Four hours and 32 minutes of mental and physical battle. We all deserve the medal!

I looked around me and saw some people getting their finisher photo taken, others were on the ground, sitting with a glazed look over their face, drinking water or eating their bagel, banana. I really wanted to sit down but I feared not being able to get back up! Also, I had to   go to PLAN B to meet my 2 friends. We were to meet at the beach party tent area under F for my last name. The area was about another 1/2 mile walk from finish line.

Once we joined up, i fell down and for about 3 seconds i thought i was gonna lose it. But, i didn’t. I told them a little about the race. I was really happy to see them.

Soon enough we started walking down the beach to the parking lot where my rental car was located. It took a while to get there – maybe another 3/4-1 mile in total because we couldn’t find the car. I was so confused..could not remember where I had parked at 5:45am in the dark!

I dropped them off at their house and i went on to my hotel.

So, what happened? Why was I not able to perform better? I have a couple of thoughts.

One: given that my last marathon was in october, perhaps it was too much for my body to do another one so soon. this was the first time I had done 2 marathons in such a short time period. but remember, I felt so great at SF Marathon that I wanted to run another one. I felt like I could physically do it. Maybe I was wrong.

Two: my other theory is that i simply did not get in ENOUGH LONG MILE runs. I did not run much in Nov/Dec and picked it up in January. But, perhaps…the miles I’ve done since January weren’t enough to get me to where i wanted to be. It’s one thing to finish a marathon..it’s another to finish a marathon and still feel physically ok afterwards. I now know both sides.

Am I happy and proud to have finished? yes, of course i have those feelings. But, my disappointment is certainly the more dominant feeling. This is not marathon #1 for me and as such, I don’t have the same expectations and wishes for myself. i want to feel better. I want to perform better. That is part of what makes me who I am. That is part of the drive. I KNOW what a huge achievement it is to get out there and to finish. And I know in many ways it is not about the end result. Every race, every training teaches me something and therein lies some of the beauty. I know there are jewels to be found.

What I know to be true is that i did my best with what I had on race day. I could not have done any better.

There will be other days when  i can try to be better…to be a better me…As long as I have a body that works, i will keep trying. For me, that’s the juice.

Other TIDBITS and PICS from TRIP

Here’s my blog buddy, JOSH, wearing the cool-ass KSwiss Knit Cap. We met up at LA Expo on Friday. When he met me in line to get our BIB #’s, he gave me this KNIT cap cause he knew I loved it. WHAT A COOL GUY, HUH!!!

And here’s me with the same cap on next A.M. in my new LA Marathon Shirt at Peets Coffee in Santa Monica!

Here’s me again at Peets. yes, i’m in love. Yes, I am addicted.

Other highlights of LA TRIP:

Going to KSWISS Store in Santa Monica:

The guy helping me was SOOOO cool. I bought another shirt, shorts and yes, MORE SHOES. (just 1 pair) and He have me BART YASSO’S new book, My Life on the RUN.

Other great parts of the trip were eating at different restaurants. Have you ever noticed how you kinda get into a rut at home…eating the same things or at the same restaurants. I went to URTH CAFE on Melrose, which was fantastic, healthy and had outdoor seating. We don’t have enough healthy places as such here in Atlanta. Went dining at a great Italian place with 2 friends on Saturday night. Wonderful, simple, yet stylish restaurant called OSTERIA LA BUCA.

Obviously, had multiple trips to PEETS Coffee, but I also went to a new coffee joint: INTELLGENTISIA – a really neat little joint over in Venice. Watching the baristas make the coffee there was truly a pleasure and they delivered ART!

Met a friend for lunch in Beverly Hills. Man, i felt like such a star! HA!

My hotel was SOFIETEL on Beverly Dr. near Beverly Hills. A wonderful place to stay! Excellent service across the board! Highly Recommend this hotel! I also had a massage post-race which was exactly what I needed! The spa space was calm, empty, soothing, and peaceful. Very nice after the not-too-happy space I was in post-run.

Here’s the last photo share…taken the next day before leaving LA. It sure was not a pretty race, but it still counts. #7. Done.

Remembering Grams

Posted in random, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on November 21, 2009 by afuntanilla

I remember….walking with you to Safeway &  Longs Drugs store. We would often take your wiry shopping cart and head out along Park Blvd. We would pass our church, St Leanders, and sometimes stop in to light a candle for those you had lost. Being so young, I never thought I would later in life light candles for both you and mom. Surely you didn’t think you would light a candle for your daughter….

Did we talk along the way? I don’t remember conversations, i just remember me and you and our journeys together. It was like our time, our ritual.

I loved going into Longs Drugs with you. Those stores are now few and far between. Here, in Atlanta, we have stores called CVS and Walgreens. (In fact, Walgreen just bought Longs, so their name might be completely gone by now…sadly). Anyways, I just remember being in that store and going through the candy isle, the card isle, the shampoo isle…something about it was oh so comforting. If it was near the holiday time, you would pick up two of your holiday staple treats; a good sized can of Almond Roca and a tin of butter cookies. Ahhh….yum! Still, two of my favorite treats to have at ANY time.

You walked EVERYWHERE or took the bus, the BART. Eventually, you revealed that you didn’t know how to drive…never got your drivers license. You walked to your jobs…those where you cleaned and took care of women who were older than you. Sometimes you had to stay for the weekend and I would visit with you and help clean. I looked forward to it not only for the money you would share, but because it was something different to do and I got to see someone else’s house and how they lived. Since these were people who could not do a lot for themselves, I got the sense that their death was not too far away…and often times the odor of near death would hover in the air. Still. I didn’t mind being there with you. You always seemed to enjoy your job and your connection to those you took care of. Who knew that in a few short years you would be taking care of me…

After being released from the hospital, I went to live with you, yet still had to be in a hospital bed. There it was, front and center, in the living room. Where else would we put it? There was no more room!  We had lots of time to spend together now! I was supposed to have a school tutor since I was missing the beginning of my 7th grade school year, but many days, you and I called in “sick” for me. Hee Heee. I loved that. What did we do instead? Well, we watched Soap Operas, of course. Our favorite shows; All My Children and General Hospital. You would make me one of my favorite things to eat: a cheese quesadilla in a corn tortilla. Gooey cheese would explode on one end as i bit the other side. YUM.

Hard to remember what else we did all day while I was laid up in that bed for a month or so! I’m now in my 39th year so my memory is failing a little… There were days I remember you cooking up a storm. You would spend all day making a big pot of beans, spanish rice, tamales, enchiladas…I would help you “clean” the beans. Do you remember that, grams? Um….still have yet to have a single Tamale as good as yours!

You were a Folgers drinker. As loyal and as addicted as I am to Peets, you were to Folgers. Every morning, you would boil the water for your coffee and then put it into your little cup with a saucer. Who uses saucers? You would add a little milk, no sugar. Then you might look at some of your religious books you received in the mail or pay bills or just sit. Always at the kitchen table. I don’t think you ever sat anywhere else while sipping your coffee. Me? At my home desk, sitting on the carpet, the sofa.

Oh my gosh. You were a pack rat. You had all these piles of magazines and little books all over the place. I hate to say, THIS, I inherited from you. I am STILL trying to rid myself of this! I have boxes of newspaper articles from years ago…all sports related. Why do i keep them? I have piles of running magazines both in view and in boxes. Why? why? why? Well, if i tried to throw away any of your Sunset or Readers Digest mags, you would scold me and tell me even though you don’t look at them every day, there is something in them you might want to go back and read sometime. And there lies the answer. Damn you.

I’m happy to report that unlike you, I do not have a dresser top filled with bottles of lotions, perfumes, gobs of lipsticks, rouge, and anything else cosmetic related. Why did you have all that shit? I don’t think I EVER saw you wearing makeup!  Looking at your dresser made me crazy but also made me laugh. Even now!

You liked your beer. Olympia (no longer in existence), Coors. You liked your brandy. E&J. And sometimes, you liked your whiskey. Kesslers. Did you ever drink Margaritas? I’m sorry we never got to have a drink together. I would have liked that. Often times when you were into your whiskey you would start semi-dancing and babble on about god knows what….you would keep saying, “That’s a baba”. Cracked us all up. Never found out what that meant. You would never say…although now i think it was just something you made up you crazy lady.

As time passed, you aged. Before my eyes and between the distances of where we lived, you moved much slower, seldom walked and even seldom talked, I think. All I wanted was for you to stick around long enough to see me graduate from college. Do you remember me asking…er…TELLING you to stick around. “Grams…I’m gonna graduate soon. You gotta be there and you gotta dress sharp, ok.”

You were there. You saw me receive my college degree with high marks. I wanted you to be proud, grams. I doubt you had any idea what I was studying or received my degree in, but you knew I finished. I was so happy you made it to the ceremony. Thank you!

A month or so later, I came to visit you in your little apartment in Oakland. I was nervous. excited. nervous to tell you my news, but excited about my news. “Grams, I’m gonna be moving to Atlanta.”   You said, “That’s it then. I’ll never see you again.”  Well, you were wrong. You did see me again!

A few months later, I returned for my first visit and went to your door. It was unlocked and the TV was blaring. I walked in, walked in front of you sitting on the sofa. You smiled, gasped, and put your hand over your eyes….I was sooo happy to see you too, grams!

My next visit was also unexpected. On an late night in early September 2000, I got that call. Liz called and said, “grandma died.” I packed my bags and got on a plane to see you. Liz had told me you died in your sleep. I wondered what happened. I’ve come to my own conclusion that you were just done. Done with a very hard life. You were alone and so many of those close to you had already passed. Your life was a tough one. A life filled with failed marriages, kids who were in prison, a daughter who died and left you holding the bag with 4 grandkids, sisters and brothers who were junkies (even in their old age). I think you were just done. Even so, it was sad to lose you and heart-wrenching to plan your funeral service and finally, to bury you. At the cemetery, they opened mom’s grave because that is where you were to be buried also. What a strange sight that was to see. Her coffin in another box. Long gone. You were the one who bought the double plot. Did you have one of your “esp” moments and you just knew?

I’m sorry time didn’t accelerate quicker for me and slower for you. So many things I wanted to do with you; go to Las Vegas, take you on a cruise, take you to so many places you never got to see.

I’m sorry you didn’t get to see me run. You would be clapping so loud, grams. BUT,  you’d also probably be one of those folks who tell me running isn’t good for my knees, etc…and WE WOULD FIGHT ABOUT IT! HA!

I’m sorry you didn’t have the chance to see me in my professional life, my career. You’d probably be surprised at my chosen profession, but you would be proud and that’s all that matters. You knew. You knew I would not go by the wayside and do nothing with my life. Thank god! You seldom said it, but damn, I know you loved me. That was just your way. I get it now.

You were Mercedes on the record books, Mercy, to friends, and Tita to your brothers and sisters…Tita, spanish for small one.

To me, you were Grams. Always.

I love you, Grams. Happy Birthday.

thank god i am not alone…

Posted in road, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on August 14, 2009 by afuntanilla

was reading josh’s blog a bit ago and saw that he wrote, “I’ve been tired for the last few days. Really tired. The type of tired that makes me want to sit down in the shower, tired.”

THANK GOD I AM NOT ALONE!

i cannot pinpoint EXACTLY why I am feeling so tired, but i know it’s a combination of factors; many work hours, increase in training, increase in training in the hot/humid weather, not enough sleep, diet (maybe?).
What I do know is that I was feeling really tired last year in this same way. I had been training for the North Face 50 Miler. Not just tired. Completely fatigued. Exhausted. Wiped out. I actually had scheduled a visit w/ doctor for a check up and they found i could stand to use an iron supplement. i never did because by the time i had gotten that result, i was no longer doing heavy training. Anyways, I think low iron could be just part of the bigger picture. Maybe my body is reacting in this way as i am getting older. Who knows. Maybe its an accumulation of getting beat down in the heat. it really does suck so much out of you. I’m taking some Ultragen recovery drinks and eating well post heavy runs, especially, but still been tired. I keep playing around with taking a few days off, like 3, but I don’t know.
As i write this, I wonder how I will get the runs in this weekend. I am finished with day 2 of 4 for an insurance class. All day Thurs-Sunday. I know we will get out of class around 4 both days, but I don’t want to do long runs at that time. So, i will have 3 choices; 1) run in the morning 2) wait til 6-7pm to run 3) do 2 short runs per day. None of this is appealing. If I run in the AM, it will need to be on treadmill cause my place is not in a location conducive to getting out in the dark. I think i will just have to go in the later evening after it cools down a bit. Gotta do what you gotta do, right?!! YEP!

But, here is what I am thinking: for many years now, I have been training for a big race in the summer because I pick a race to do in the FALL. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I think i may just take next summer off, if i am smart!!

monday

Posted in Uncategorized on January 5, 2009 by afuntanilla

“Racing is pain, and that’s why you do it, to challenge yourself and the limits of your physical and mental barriers. You don’t experience that in an armchair watching television.”
-Mark Allen

on my mind

Posted in Uncategorized on January 3, 2009 by afuntanilla

This past fall, I gave up.
On two friends.

It’s never easy, is it?