Archive for decisions

Catapult

Posted in photos with tags , , , , , , , , , on January 1, 2012 by afuntanilla

CATAPULT; to thrust, move suddenly or quickly

I first came to Atlanta in 1999, July. Moved here from San Francisco, which always surprises people. WHY would you move from San Francisco to Atlanta? It’s not an easy thing to explain, but I will try….see if you can follow along. ­čÖé

I had been to Atlanta twice before moving and had spent time here and LOVED it. The landscape is unlike anything out west. A bounty of trees, so damn lush and gorgeous. Maybe like a drop dead gorgeous woman so that when you see her, you just stop and stare. Soak her in. That is the Atlanta landscape. (not so much in winter, but you get the picture)

Atlanta is enough Southern so that one does feel it, in a good way. The slower pace, the true Southern Ways. You know..people of all ages addressing one as “ma’am” and “sir”. I find it endearing. People are kind here…and yes, many Southern Charmers. And contrary to popular misconceptions, Atlanta is VERY metropolitan. Very. Even more so now than when i moved here in 1999.

So…that is a little of what DREW me to this Southern City. Looking back, I also believe I needed to leave the Bay Area, which is more accurate to say. I didn’t leave San Francisco. I left the Bay Area. I left the Bay Area that had had so many very difficult memories for me. Very difficult and very painful. If you know my story, you understand. One might say I was “running” away from them, but I don’t see it that way. I really view it as something I needed to do for me. I needed to leave the nest. Surprisingly, it was pretty easy to leave. I was excited for an entire new place, new opportunities and to see what I could do on my own. I am a firm and loud believer in wandering. I think more people should do it. You can discover a lot about yourself while wandering. I, was wandering…

Almost 13 years have now passed. Wow. In many ways, I feel like I really “grew up” here in Atlanta. Became an adult. Been very focused on my career and have enjoyed that process. My running has also truly accelerated here. I did my first BIG RACE in January 1999 (before moving) in San Francisco; The Home Depot Half-Marathon. My finish time was 2:01:43 — a record i am still trying to break! After that race, I was hooked and proceeded to run and run while living in Atlanta. Luckily for me, my living situation/income etc has allowed me to travel for many races. 13 years later. Still very much hooked on the running.

One of the biggest issues of my life has been a constant nagging feeling of feeling like i belong anywhere. I think maybe we all have one or two or three or…nagging issues, don’t we?? Well, this is mine. It’s been huge. It is constant and can be a real freakin’ downer. DOWNER!

Well…I realize that I have a part in perpetuating this feeling. Some of it is real and true and some of it is stuff I create. There are people who know me, who really know me. Who really love me. And I have chosen to be far away from them. Well, that will certainly help me feel like i don’t belong and not connected. Duh!

Throughout my years in Atlanta, I have been unhappy on a deeper, spiritual level. For whatever reason, I have not been able to create the kind of relationships or community that helps sustain me on the inside and I think we all need that as part of our life. I read back to journals from 3, 5 years ago and read where I question why i am still living in Atlanta. Obviously, living here for as long as I have, there have been reasons for me to stay. I have been fulfilled here it some ways, but ultimately, for me, it has been like a spiritual desert. Over these 13 years, I have traveled back to the Bay Area to visit friends and more and more, those visits have provided me with a shot of the best juice i could possibly give myself. And it hasn’t just been my friends…it’s been the place…the San Francisco Bay Area…the water, the culture, the diversity, the abundance of so many good things….I kept going back to visit to get INJECTIONS of all this good stuff. Each time I have been back, over the last 5 years especially, I appreciate the place more and more. There is truly no place like it. I’ve been around the country a few times, so i feel i can legitimacy say those words! Back in October/November, I was having one of the worst times of my life and where did I seek comfort and nourishment…back in the Bay Area with my friends, who are my family. This past year, 2011, I traveled to the Bay Area 4 times. I finally got the message.

Things in my work environment have changed and it’s definitely time for me to leave a situation. It definitely has had good points, but I think when one becomes quiet enough, the message is there in the quiet, inner space. My message has been to leave a situation that no longer suits me. A relationship at work that is no longer serving me. Sometimes, we just have to move on and that’s what it is for me. Time to move on.

So. Yes. I am going home. Finally going home. I’m excited and a bit nervous, but mostly excited. I’ve been thinking about this for a loooong time and finally have gotten the courage to take the leap. As mentioned, 2011 was a tough year. However, it was a spontaneous meeting by the water with a friend with a red rooster in my hand that helped catapult this decision. At that moment, my year changed and ultimately, the direction of my life.

With a deep breath, I look forward to 2012 and all of its challenges and opportunities and adventures. I hope you’ll follow me along the way.

Onward…

p.s. so much more to say, but will save for a later time

Will run for Snickers

Posted in motivation, photos, travel with tags , , , , on March 1, 2011 by afuntanilla

How-dee!

So…i’ve been trying to decide what race(s) to do. BIG decisions, you know. What race(s). Where. When. How much to travel to and fro. Terrain. Distance. You know…all the important criteria when trying to decide. I think in an earlier post I mentioned I might sign up for Atlanta(Publix) Half-Marathon on March 20th. I was all set to do so, quite reluctantly, I might add, when I changed my mind. Why the reluctance in the first place? Because it’s HERE…in the place I live…on the streets i always run on…and I have already run it before….and I wasn’t crazy about the race….and i didn’t feel like shelling out $100 bucks to run a local race that I wasn’t excited about. So. I changed my mind.

Instead, I decided to run the…..SNICKERS HALF-MARATHON on March 5th in Albany, GA. Albany is South of Atlanta, about a 3.5 hour drive. I plan to leave work about noon or so on Friday and go on my little road trip.

In case you were wondering about the title sponsor of the race (SNICKERS) The MARS Company has several plants in the US. The plant in Albany, GA produces the SNICKERS®MARATHON Energy Bar

(among other products, but not the regular SNICKERS or even the bite sized Snickers. The regular one is made in WACO, TX & the bite sized is made in CHICAGO, IL. (ok. now you know some potential trivia knowledge. remember me if you win big)

So, I’m excited to run my first race of 2011. In terms of my running mileage so far this year, here it is:

January: 77 miles

February: 66 miles

These are definitely LOW mileage months, but I’m ok with that because I feel they have been more quality miles. The course this Saturday is flat and fast and many people who are running the FULL MARATHON use it as a Boston Qualifier. Even though I feel my miles have been of better quality as of late, I’m not sure I can break the 2 hour mark this time. I have not been too concerned with this goal right now cuz I have a lot of other things on my plate, but I definitely still want it! I’m just glad to have picked a race and will be glad to run in some new territory.

p.s. there is a 5-10% chance I will not be able to run the race due to a possible work commitment, so I will keep u posted.

Does anyone notice anything different about me in this picture? If you get the answer right, I’ll send you a SNICKERS.

Cheers. Run Smart. Run Strong.