A Slooooo Start

“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know”

So. 2013 has not started exactly the way I had hoped…on December 26th, I got sick with the flu. It lasted for about 2 weeks and since then, I have been experiencing much achiness and fatigue. I feel like the damn thing just flattened me. And it did. I haven’t missed any work, but left early many days. My weekends, up until this current weekend, have basically been spent on the couch/bed. Not feeling the physical energy to do much for such a long time now has been quite the challenge.

I love being active. Of course, I love to run. But, I also love just having the energy to go about my day with some zest! During the past month, i have felt depressed, angry, agitated, cranky, irritable. I have done my best every day to be patient with my body as it clearly has a course of its own to run. I went to the doctor, had some blood work done just to be thorough….all came back normal. More patience with just what is….

I have not experienced this kind of sickness since about late 1990’s, so it’s been even the more challenging. I have been running about 3-5 days a week for about 15 years, so to have such a lengthly delay has been bubble bursting in so many ways. Some people will understand it and others won’t. And, that’s ok. Running makes me feel alive in a way that nothing else does. If you have read my blog for a while, you probably get it.

And…I’m trying to see the positives in all this. My flaw has been I do not give myself enough time to rest after big races and I had 2 big races last year. I know I am guilty of not enough rest. And part of me sees this delay as learning a lesson in this regard. I’m absorbing the lesson. Sometimes, after a big race, I’m so excited i just can’t wait to keep going for the next thing. But, there’s another lesson here too: to truly embrace my current self-accomplishment. Too often these past few years, I have not allowed myself to just “enjoy the after…” And, I think that is part of the nature of the mentality of runners…to keep re-setting their goals. Believe me, I am all for goal-setting, but i am getting the other lessons here too.

So, where am I now? Well, after a full month of little to no physical exercise. I am basically starting from zero. For example, I ran for 10 minutes on Friday and walked for 5 minutes.

Yesterday, I ran 2 miles and walked 5 minutes.

Hard to understand I ran a marathon in October. I could not run 5 miles right now. And….that is ok. I will get back. Smartly.

I remain positive and upbeat and ever determined.

Onward.

thank god i am not alone…

was reading josh’s blog a bit ago and saw that he wrote, “I’ve been tired for the last few days. Really tired. The type of tired that makes me want to sit down in the shower, tired.”

THANK GOD I AM NOT ALONE!

i cannot pinpoint EXACTLY why I am feeling so tired, but i know it’s a combination of factors; many work hours, increase in training, increase in training in the hot/humid weather, not enough sleep, diet (maybe?).
What I do know is that I was feeling really tired last year in this same way. I had been training for the North Face 50 Miler. Not just tired. Completely fatigued. Exhausted. Wiped out. I actually had scheduled a visit w/ doctor for a check up and they found i could stand to use an iron supplement. i never did because by the time i had gotten that result, i was no longer doing heavy training. Anyways, I think low iron could be just part of the bigger picture. Maybe my body is reacting in this way as i am getting older. Who knows. Maybe its an accumulation of getting beat down in the heat. it really does suck so much out of you. I’m taking some Ultragen recovery drinks and eating well post heavy runs, especially, but still been tired. I keep playing around with taking a few days off, like 3, but I don’t know.
As i write this, I wonder how I will get the runs in this weekend. I am finished with day 2 of 4 for an insurance class. All day Thurs-Sunday. I know we will get out of class around 4 both days, but I don’t want to do long runs at that time. So, i will have 3 choices; 1) run in the morning 2) wait til 6-7pm to run 3) do 2 short runs per day. None of this is appealing. If I run in the AM, it will need to be on treadmill cause my place is not in a location conducive to getting out in the dark. I think i will just have to go in the later evening after it cools down a bit. Gotta do what you gotta do, right?!! YEP!

But, here is what I am thinking: for many years now, I have been training for a big race in the summer because I pick a race to do in the FALL. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I think i may just take next summer off, if i am smart!!