Take the shot!

From time to time, I like to go out and shoot hoops. This activity usually occurs by myself. For a couple of reasons. 1) I usually go do this on spur of the moment. 2) I don’t really know anyone else who would like to go do this with me. 

So. I go alone which is just fine by me. I don’t like people guarding me and getting in my face anyways. 🙂

I like the freedom to move and shoot with no one else around. I like to dribble and drive and shoot and try to make all kinds of crazy shots. The last few times I have gone out and played, it seemed like i couldn’t make ANY shots. Not even those super close up lay up shots. Nothing was going in. Lay ups, jumpers, free throws…you name it and it just really wasn’t happening for me. Pretty frustrating, but I always kept shooting. Because I like to move. I like to try. I like to keep the challenge going. Even though it can be frustrating, it is still fun. 

And, TODAY, was even more fun. Because most of the shots were going IN. Long range, short range, crazy lay ups…they were all going in the net…..SWOOSH…..and that is what keeps me going…those times when you take the shot and it hits nothing but net….SWOOSH, baby!

So, keep taking the shots. Don’t give up when it might seem frustrating. Keep taking the shot. Because, pretty soon…you will hear it….SWOOSH!!!!

Life is about c…

Life is about constantly making adjustments. adjusting one’s expectations, adjusting one’s goals. adjusting one’s outlook and perspective. If we don’t adjust, we may as well just cosider ourselves stuck forever in a rut. Sometimes adjustments are easy and sometimes not. Think of the most recent Olympic track and field trials where a few sprinters missed being on the US team by fractions of a second…no London for them. How about making that adjustment!!

 

Adjustments — it helps if we can keep open minds and remain flexible. Obviously, we aren’t saints and it is not always easy to be open minded and flexible. Life happens. We get angry and frustrated. Yesterday, I had a shortened work day so i decided to use it as an opportunity to go for a random bike ride. Thought it would be good for my legs and be awesome to just ride and go fast on the open roads of westside Petaluma. (i was also in kinda crappy mood and thought it wouid help) Ride today and get a run in tomorrow, I thought. 

First thing i rode about 1 mile over to the bike shop to buy some new gloves because somehow the ones I had are no longer around. Lost somewhere in my cross country move, I guess. So, I got some sweet new gloves and got my tired pumped a bit more and off I went. Headed west towards a loop trail i just heard about from a couple of people in town. All was going fine until I hit a small hill on the way there…only about 1 mile into ride…and I noticed my gears were not working properly. The lowest 3 gears kept shifting on their own and making the peddaling erractic and very frustrating. I kept going, but knew this was gonna be an issue cause I heard the route would be rolling hills and some bigger than others. I cruised down the backside of the 1st hill and headed onto Chileno Valley and started what looked to be a lengthly gradual uphill and started to shift again….more of the same shifting. UGH. UGH. UGH. I stopped and got off the bike and flipped it over. I looked at the wheel and gears, etc..and hand pedaled it to see if I could see the problem. BTW, I had no clue what i was looking for….as I have NO CLUE about fixing bikes. Of course, i couldn’t see anything and I gave up. In this little moment, alone, on this gorgeous road filled with Eucalyptus trees on one side and blonde grass on the other, I was extremely pissed off! I wanted to throw my bike as far as i could. WOW….guess I had some built up frustration from something else!! I turned around and figured I would just go back home. UGH. I so wanted to ride….

On the short ride back into town, it donned on me that i COULD still ride and just ride around town where it was flat. DUH!! I thought about the roads I could go on that were pretty with not a lot of traffic. Off i went, slowly recovering from my temper tantrum. Yes, I think that is what it was. THINGS NOT GOING EXACTLY HOW I EXPECTED!!!!

I ended up riding for just over an hour and while there were stop signs and stop lights along the way, I still got in some good miles. I was very happy that I made the ADJUSTMENT to keep riding instead of throwing in the towel all together. It wasn’t what I had orignially wanted or planned, but it all worked out. Now, I just gotta get my gears fixed….

 

OK…so, now it’s the holiday, 4th of July. My plan was to get a run in…not sure how long. 4 mile maybe. a little faster than usual. I woke up late at 9am. I figured i must have needed it. Don’t fight the body. if it sleeps, it sleeps. It needs it. But still…9am was late for me. I usually am up by 7am on non-work days and 5:30 on work days. Anyway, I had coffe and toast and headed out the door at 10:30am. My legs were pretty sore from 1) 2 days ago aquats, lunges, etc and 2) bike ride yesterday. I know cycling does not burn a lot of calories, but it sure makes my legs sore. Maybe an hour ride was a lot for someone who doesn’t ride? I have no idea.

So, I started running and my pace was fast. I knew I was way too fast and my energy level just faded. My thoughts quickly recall what I ate yesterday…not much at all!! NO FUEL.  + pretty sore legs + warm weather. 1st mile was 8:37. I just stopped. There was no way I would keep that pace up for 4 miles and I didn’t want to keep running slower than 9 min pace. I could feel my body just not “have it” (i also had 2 cocktails last night…that also makes a difference…) 

Unlike yesterday, I was not angry or frustrated about what was happening…I simply just made the adjustment….I walked for a few minutes and then just figured I would run some 1/4 mile intervals. 

So I did. I did 4×400 at just about 2:00 each and I felt good about it. Even in this shortened, adjusted workout, I pushed myself and made the best of it. Made something out of nothing. 

 

Now, its time to eat better and get ready for a better run tomorrow and then again on weekend. Race day is approaching.

 

I guess my unsolicited advice is to be willing to adjust. Be willing to let go of what you expected and make the most of what you have. if we can do this, the moment will be that much better for us. I think there is ALWAYS a way to make it better. It just might take a bit of getting “over” ourselves and being just a little bit bigger. 

 

A part of me

Everything is familiar. Everything is new. I am new. I am not the same. I am the same. Same in my core. ANGIE. I am the same. I am different. I grew. I grew up. I got big.

On Wednesday, February 1st, I made my final cross country drive into the SF Bay Area. I passed town after town and recalled some memories of the places I had passed. I noticed how some places hadn’t changed at all and others, drastically so. Some needed, some not. Needed.

I knew when I woke up where I wanted to go first. Where I NEEDED to go. First.
I had to go see a couple of crazy ladies and say hello.
Mom and grandma. I hadn’t been to see them in quite a while. Grandma died in 2000, but I was not able to get her name on the stone for a long time, so this was my first time seeing the stone with her name added. I walked around, found their spot, stood there, and smiled while tears welled in my eyes.
I instinctively raised my arms wide and said these words: “I’m back. I grew up. I got big. I got bigger.”
The sun was shining on my cheeks and I felt comforted. In the sea of the departed, beauty surrounded and engulfed me. I felt tall. Taller.
I smiled and squated so I could lean over and try to clear some debris from the headstone. My fingers brushing on and over the perfect etchings of their names, dates of birth. Death. Every letter so perfectly aligned. Neat. Tidy. Exact. So un-like life. Ironic.
I sat with the wonderful quiet that falls over Holy Sepulchure and gazed in silence. Then, I stood up and looked at my loved ones. “I want you to know I have people in my life who love and care about me. And I am ok. I think you would be proud of me. The person I have become.”
I left a piece of me, for them, and slowy walked away. Feeling full.