Archive for musings

everyday people

Posted in random with tags , , , on June 18, 2014 by afuntanilla

Just have some thoughts wanted to put out there…thinking about Heroes/Heroic people or actions. The definition of a HERO  (via dictionary.com): “a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities.” 

Hmmm….just a few days ago, I dined for lunch with a colleague whom I do not know well. During our conversation, I mentioned that I lived alone. Her response: “wow! that’s brave.” Of course, I was shocked to hear her say “brave”. But to her, maybe it was just that…BRAVE. Perhaps she is afraid to be alone or live alone or whatever. No judgement. I just thought her choice of word, “brave” was interesting.

So often we hear the media refer to people as brave or heroic because of a particular action they took and often times (perhaps too much) athletes are assigned with this “hero” title.  Yet, if we look at the definition, “distinguished courage or ability” couldn’t that be applied to so many people? Don’t we all possess some distinguishing ability? I believe we do. We may not be admired for it because we are not of “celebrity” status….someone did not take a video of us in our “distinguished ability” and post it on YouTube for the world to see. We remain hidden heroes, so to speak, except to the people in our immediate lives who witness our abilities.

Perhaps the hero is the mother who has to hold down 2 minimum wage paying jobs because that’s the only way to make ends meet. Maybe it’s the father who is clinically depressed after his child has been killed in school….but gets up day after day to care for his other child and his wife, because that’s what he is supposed to do. Maybe he is a hero because he didn’t fall into the deep dark place of no return and become a zombie of a person after such tragedy. Maybe the hero is the hospice nurse whose daily job is to care for those individuals who are in the final days of life. He/She must be that person, by their side, day after day….witnessing them and facing death. That’s her job. Maybe the hero is the person with only 4 quarters in their pocket but is willing to give half of it away. Maybe the hero is not just the guy/gal who can perform multiple slam dunks, hit a 3 run-homer, score the winning goal, run the 2:05 marathon…

Maybe it’s the female attorney handling a arduous criminal case, testing her every capability, working 10-12 hour days and still makes time to make her family feel super special. Maybe it’s the spouse who always remembers the kind of chocolate you like: dark with almonds.

Maybe the hero is you.

Things I am thinking about, learning, re-learning, pondering….

Posted in random with tags , , , , , on May 8, 2014 by afuntanilla

Trust gets built with integrity, truth-telling, keeping promises and commitments.

Don’t give trust before it’s earned.

People may not be able to give you love and when that happens, it has nothing to do with you. It’s not personal. It has no bearing on your ability to be loved. None whatsoever.

How will you show up with the people in your life?

Let’s stay away from judgement. Isn’t there so much of it? We don’t need to judge (others, ourselves) we can just be in truth….whatever the truth of the moment is….no should’ve, could’ve, would’ve…

We get caught in telling people who we need, wish or expect them to be rather than asking them/finding out who they are!

Deliberately nurture trust.

Isn’t a life of honesty better than a life of commonality?

Are you hiding parts of you, all of you? Why? What would it look like to come out of hiding?

An infant and a mother are more connected than I ever knew. Obviously, it starts in the womb….so connected. The growing baby senses everything…anxiety, fear, disconnectedness, love, joy…and this all has an impact on the developing brain.

Trauma is anything that happens to us that is against our nature.
What is your true nature! Are you going with this or against it?

Crying expresses a need.
Everything boils down to fear or love.

If someone if jealous of your success, what you have, etc…they are not really jealous, they are afraid. Afraid they will not “have” the same.
It’s important to learn abundance. There is so much abundance out there. “Success”, love, etc…is not only for a few….we can all have this. We are not shut out from anything unless we shut ourselves out.

Let got of your agenda for other people and what they should or shouldn’t do. It’s not your path. It’s theirs. Let them follow their own path and go with their own nature. Allow.

You are not your fear. You are not your anger. You are not your pain.

Everyone is doing the best they can, at any moment, with what they know right then and there.

What if you could expand your capacity to grow? You could expand your brain? Your heart? Your capacity for love? Forgiveness?

Being controlling = being afraid. Let go of the outcome.

If you want to heal, you have to tell the truth. All of it.

Forgiveness comes from an open heart and without condition, or it doesn’t come at all.

Our pain is our pain. It just is. We SUFFER when we believe we shouldn’t have it!

You can create a new story any minute you chose to do so.

Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to be seen. And, being seen….it’s the most amazing thing in the world.

how might

Posted in road with tags , , on August 14, 2013 by afuntanilla

How might life be if we were

less fearful, more daring

less practical, more spontaneous

less closed, more open

less judgmental, more curious

less distracted, more present

less self-focused, more giving

How might life be…

How might the world be…

It all starts at Home…..

morning

Posted in random with tags , , , , , , on March 9, 2011 by afuntanilla

Looking out my window, there is still morning darkness. It rained a bit in the night and seems like there are still some drops falling. I hear the remnants of the rain as the cars whoosh by in the distance. I see a lot of vehicles on the road already and am so curious as to where they are going. What does their day have in store for them? As I write, I am enjoying a lovely cup of Peets Coffee (of course) The blend is a new, limited offering of Sumatra Blue Batak. I prepared it via French Press, my new preferred method when in my abode. I wish I could describe the flavors in a way the “experts” do. I was able to offer those kind of descriptions with wine when i worked in that industry, but I haven’t ever really gotten the descriptions down on the coffee front. Hmmm… Let me have another taste and try again…nope, can’t do it. All i can tell you is it is good. And different from other Peets coffees. this I can tell.

I’m sipping from one of my small mugs. It says “DREAM”

friday musings

Posted in photos, random with tags , , , on November 26, 2010 by afuntanilla

just some random things you may or may not know about me that I that i wanted to share.

-the first coffee drink i got turned on to was a Mocha. i drank Mochas sporadically in 1988. It wasn’t until mid-late 1989 that i started drinking regular coffee. now, i can’t remember the last time I had a Mocha.

-the only “condiment” in my fridge is salad dressing (which i don’t even use). haven’t bought a jar of mayonnaise or mustard in years. don’t use either.

-i like to go out and just shoot some hoops by myself. it’s very calming, invigorating, fun, and challenging. in my dreams, i was a star point guard shelling out lots of assists and nailing 3 pointers.

-i love that i know a few small business owners in my area. i like to go visit them at their jobs and of course, do business with them.

-i like reading right before i go to bed. what’s weird is that i like to read crime novels right before going to sleep.

-i also do the crossword before going to sleep. crossword puzzle, then read.

-i only use raw sugar in my coffee and i get super bugged when coffee shops only carry the raw sugar in a big container, not little packets. the sugar in the big container NEVER COMES OUT.

-i abhor spending money to park my car anywhere. i feel this is one of the biggest ripoffs ever.

-sometimes i wish i could find my father. sometimes i wonder why he didn’t find me

-i’m not sure what to believe about the death penalty

p.s. the picture was taken today. i bought a basketball and went to shoot some hoops.