“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know”
So. 2013 has not started exactly the way I had hoped…on December 26th, I got sick with the flu. It lasted for about 2 weeks and since then, I have been experiencing much achiness and fatigue. I feel like the damn thing just flattened me. And it did. I haven’t missed any work, but left early many days. My weekends, up until this current weekend, have basically been spent on the couch/bed. Not feeling the physical energy to do much for such a long time now has been quite the challenge.
I love being active. Of course, I love to run. But, I also love just having the energy to go about my day with some zest! During the past month, i have felt depressed, angry, agitated, cranky, irritable. I have done my best every day to be patient with my body as it clearly has a course of its own to run. I went to the doctor, had some blood work done just to be thorough….all came back normal. More patience with just what is….
I have not experienced this kind of sickness since about late 1990’s, so it’s been even the more challenging. I have been running about 3-5 days a week for about 15 years, so to have such a lengthly delay has been bubble bursting in so many ways. Some people will understand it and others won’t. And, that’s ok. Running makes me feel alive in a way that nothing else does. If you have read my blog for a while, you probably get it.
And…I’m trying to see the positives in all this. My flaw has been I do not give myself enough time to rest after big races and I had 2 big races last year. I know I am guilty of not enough rest. And part of me sees this delay as learning a lesson in this regard. I’m absorbing the lesson. Sometimes, after a big race, I’m so excited i just can’t wait to keep going for the next thing. But, there’s another lesson here too: to truly embrace my current self-accomplishment. Too often these past few years, I have not allowed myself to just “enjoy the after…” And, I think that is part of the nature of the mentality of runners…to keep re-setting their goals. Believe me, I am all for goal-setting, but i am getting the other lessons here too.
So, where am I now? Well, after a full month of little to no physical exercise. I am basically starting from zero. For example, I ran for 10 minutes on Friday and walked for 5 minutes.
Yesterday, I ran 2 miles and walked 5 minutes.
Hard to understand I ran a marathon in October. I could not run 5 miles right now. And….that is ok. I will get back. Smartly.
I remain positive and upbeat and ever determined.
Onward.
What's Possible... 