Things I am thinking about, learning, re-learning, pondering….

Trust gets built with integrity, truth-telling, keeping promises and commitments.

Don’t give trust before it’s earned.

People may not be able to give you love and when that happens, it has nothing to do with you. It’s not personal. It has no bearing on your ability to be loved. None whatsoever.

How will you show up with the people in your life?

Let’s stay away from judgement. Isn’t there so much of it? We don’t need to judge (others, ourselves) we can just be in truth….whatever the truth of the moment is….no should’ve, could’ve, would’ve…

We get caught in telling people who we need, wish or expect them to be rather than asking them/finding out who they are!

Deliberately nurture trust.

Isn’t a life of honesty better than a life of commonality?

Are you hiding parts of you, all of you? Why? What would it look like to come out of hiding?

An infant and a mother are more connected than I ever knew. Obviously, it starts in the womb….so connected. The growing baby senses everything…anxiety, fear, disconnectedness, love, joy…and this all has an impact on the developing brain.

Trauma is anything that happens to us that is against our nature.
What is your true nature! Are you going with this or against it?

Crying expresses a need.
Everything boils down to fear or love.

If someone if jealous of your success, what you have, etc…they are not really jealous, they are afraid. Afraid they will not “have” the same.
It’s important to learn abundance. There is so much abundance out there. “Success”, love, etc…is not only for a few….we can all have this. We are not shut out from anything unless we shut ourselves out.

Let got of your agenda for other people and what they should or shouldn’t do. It’s not your path. It’s theirs. Let them follow their own path and go with their own nature. Allow.

You are not your fear. You are not your anger. You are not your pain.

Everyone is doing the best they can, at any moment, with what they know right then and there.

What if you could expand your capacity to grow? You could expand your brain? Your heart? Your capacity for love? Forgiveness?

Being controlling = being afraid. Let go of the outcome.

If you want to heal, you have to tell the truth. All of it.

Forgiveness comes from an open heart and without condition, or it doesn’t come at all.

Our pain is our pain. It just is. We SUFFER when we believe we shouldn’t have it!

You can create a new story any minute you chose to do so.

Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to be seen. And, being seen….it’s the most amazing thing in the world.

The Underdog

Last night, I went to the gym for a run on the treadmill. I hopped on and turned the attached TV to ESPN. I saw there was a college basketball game on. I don’t have any real interest in college basketball, but I left it on because it was something sporty to watch. As I ran, I was in my own world, happy to be moving my body and listening to music on my iPOD. I was sort of watching the game and saw that it was unranked BUTLER vs #9 ranked North Carolina. Because I do follow sports in general, I know UNC is always a powerhouse basketball team and has a legacy of great teams. The game had only been on for a few minutes, but already Butler had a big lead..more than 10 points. And so, it caught my attention. How was this “little” team beating UNC? So, I started watching more closely and I clearly saw how Butler was in the lead; they were OUT HUSTLING UNC! Those Butler kids were getting to all the loose balls, getting the offensive and defensive rebounds and making many 3 point shots. They seemed quicker and hungrier. And this is exactly what I love about UNDERDOGS…whether it’s a team, an individual; whether its sports related of just LIFE in general….I love the EFFORT, the HUSTLE, the DETERMINATION. I love to see all those things put forth and watch it completely ignite a person or a team and be such a huge catalyst going forward. And, this is one of the reasons I love SPORT…because I don’t even have to care about the teams or know anything about them to gain something from watching. Sport teaches. Period. In a world where many negative news stories are out there about individuals and teams, etc…I prefer to pay attention and focus on the lessons, the inspiration, the motivation. And yes, I love the Underdog and will continually root for them.

Where did that come from?? Well, I grew up with 2 older brothers and one liked our local Oakland Raiders and the other one liked the Minnesota Vikings (have no idea why). We were watching football one day and The Cleveland Browns were playing. Brian Sipe was the QB and Ozzie Newsome was the TE. They had NO emblem on their Orange helmets and they were the underdog. Well, right then and there, when I was about 10 years old, i picked ’em to be my team. 32 years later, they are still my team. For those who don’t know, The Browns have been more bad then good. They are currently 2-8 this season and if they win 2 more games before season is over, that would be a victory in my mind. They have had losing seasons for MANY years now and yes, I still remain a fan. I don’t just mean sort of losing seasons, I mean real ugly losing seasons. It seems they have a new QB or a new coach every year. They had some of the best and most fun years to watch during the late 1980’s and some in the 1990’s.  I guess I really have 2 points to this part of my post; that I am loyal, loyal, loyal and even though I watch other football teams and am envious of the better teams, I am sure I will never switch my allegiance. I have even made about 4 different trips to Cleveland to watch the games. The fan loyalty is unreal and unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I am proud to be a fan and even still, each week, I hope they will keep playing better and eek out some wins. Last Sunday, I watched the game vs Dallas and the browns surprisingly had a 13-0 lead at halftime. I was ecstatic, but I was not optimistic  it would last. But, I hoped. How had they gotten the lead vs Dallas in Dallas? Just like Butler, they were out playing their opponent. They were NOT the better team, but they were playing better. At least for half of the game. Dallas turned it around and tied the game and won in overtime. I guess this brings me to my 2nd point; you don’t ever quit before the game starts. It would be easy for someone or a team to think they are beaten BEFORE the game even begins…I mean just look at the records of the teams. But, the Browns don’t quit. They play hard and give all they have. As a fan, that is what you want to see. Sure, I want to see them win, but it will take more than the players…they need better coaches, better management and BETTER SCOUTS.

At the end of the day, I also view myself as an underdog. This characterization was much more applicable earlier in my life, but I still think of myself this way. I see nothing wrong with it. It has pushed me to be as successful as a person as I can be. It has kept my humble and to never take anything for granted. I am not someone who is the best at anything, but my mindset is the same today as it was 20 years ago: keep working hard. Stay positive. Don’t let anything keep you down or prevent you from succeeding.

-The Underdog

On Inconvenience

“When you hear some teachings that ring true to you, and you feel some trust in practicing that way and some trust in it’s being a worthwhile way to live, then you’re in for a lot of inconvenience. From an everyday perspective, it seems good to do things that are kind of convenient; there’s no problem with that. It’s just that when you really start to take the warrior’s journey – which is to say, when you start to live your life fully instead of opting for death, when you begin to feel this passion for life and for growth, when discovery and exploration and curiosity become your path – then basically, if you follow your heart, you’re going to find that it’s often extremely inconvenient….comfort orientation murders the spirit.”

Pema Chodron – “The Wisdom of No Escape