perhaps one of the reasons why

After about 4 weeks, the full body cast had finally come off and my atrophied legs didn’t quite feel like my own. They were these strange limbs that were attached to my hips, but sure didn’t feel like much. They looked small and felt weak. But, they were mine. And they were healing. My 2 roken legs were now unbroken. I remained having to use a wheelchair until I could walk again. The bigger people in my family would sometimes carry me from car to house or room to room, but I was itching to use my own power to ambulate and feel my own 2 feet on the ground. One early evening, I was in the living room while grandma was in the kitchen cooking, cleaning. I don’t recall anyone else being in the house at the time. I was wearing my pajamas; blue and pink stripped bottom pajama pants  (perhaps this was the beginning of my sense of style!) and sitting in an oversized chair. I have no recollection as to what my thoughts or feelings were at that exact moment, I just remember what I did.

I got up. I rose.

I got my balance by holding on to something on both sides of me.

I took a step. And then another one. I was walking.

“Grandma!” I yelled. “I’m doing it. I’m walking.” 

I’m a runner…

I’m a runner and a dreamer. I dream of grand things. I dream of breaking the tape and celebrating my own victory …of squashing my past results by 5 seconds or 5 minutes. I dream of slaying the ‘I Can’t’ dragon that roams beneath my consciousness.

I dream of running faster – fast enough for personal satisfaction, for inner victory and outward jubilation.

My heart is determined one. It screams and then applauds as I test the limits of its pre-conceived beliefs. It breaks a bit, when I falter, when I fall short of my goals – and yet, being a part my endurance runners body , it too endures, rebuilds, to give it another chance, to go for it. Once again.

I dream of the moment I will pump my fist and yell in glorious exhuberance of personal achievement.

I dream.

Someone who inspired me

A favorite quote by someone whose story truly inspired me.

“I ran and ran every day, and I acquired a sense of determination, this sense of spirit that I would never, never, give up, no matter what else happened.” – Wilma Rudolph, US Track Star, Olympian

If you don’t know who she was, Google her. Amazing story!

more reflection from Nike SF Marathon

Just some numbers I’ve looked at recently – running miles by months

June 2009 = 79

July 2009 = 104

August 2009 = 128

September 2009 = 122

October 2009 = 77 (including marathon)

I was looking back at some numbers last time I ran a marathon which was in March 2007. I ran the ING Atlanta Marathon that day. That was my 5th marathon and I suffered. I had my worse finish time of 4:53. YIKES. I looked back at what my mileage was the 3 months prior to race and this is what i found:

December 2006 = 99

January 2007 = 117

February 2007 = 121

What surprises me when i compare the 2 training periods (a loose comparison) the 3 month total prior to Nike race was 354. The 3 month total prior to ING was 337. So, not much difference in the totals.

I’m not trying to figure out why there was such a vast difference in finish times as I pretty much already know the answer to that question, but it is all pretty interesting. Some of the big differences were the time of year for training. ING was in March, so i trained in winter into early spring. Maybe I spent too much time on treadmill. I can’t remember. For NIKE, I trained all through summer/heat/humidity and then some fall weather conditions. And then race day conditions were completely different. ING race day ended up being an incredibly hot day(unusual for march). There was not enough water on course and it was quite hilly. NIKE race day was some good ole’ San Francisco weather; high 50’s to start and probably never got above 65. Very few hills. Perfect. I think my performance was aided by something else; sheer enthusiasm for being back home. There is no way to calculate that, but it made a difference! I needed that race. I needed that race experience. I had to get the bad taste out of my mouth from the poor showing at ING. Ya know?! I needed it like sometimes you need to kiss someone so that last person you kissed isn’t the last person you kissed. Know what I mean? So, again, Thank you San Francisco, my city bay the bay.

Back in my office, people were interested to hear how it went. I am lucky to have good and enthusiastic support among my work folks. Just the other day one of my colleagues asked, “so, when’s your next race?”

Well. What’s next?